Dilemma. Yes, I'm in a dilemma. I feel confused and dizzy, what would I do become so awry. Why me who became the victim? (victims of love).
"Os!" I heard someone calling me from a distance. I know this sound well. Yes, this is Diga’s trademark sound. I immediately walked away from the sound source. I'm sick, he makes my life more complicated and making me in a dilemma. Diga looks a little sad because I'm away, but I simply do this on the mandate of Diga’s ex.
I arrived in class. I'm a little sorry for avoidance of Diga. Actually Diga not really wrong but he's also not true. Hha, her dizzy. Since I and Diga close (because we often hang out together), the whole school in commotion. They thought I was the third cause of rupture Diga and his ex. My classmates begin to think negatively about me. Diga’s ex seemed to hate me. She continued to terrorize me by sms, telephone, also through a facebook. She said she still loved Diga, she still wants Diga to be her boyfriend and even she says if she want to kill herself if Diga is in a relationship with other girl. Crazy right?. I was really dizzy. Later breaks, Jizi, Diga’s ex, invited me to meeting up. Argh, bags!
***
"Quick Jiz, I do not have much time."
"Emm... Os, Diga... I honestly really sad, and provided you know, he told to me if he likes you Os. Hm, may I ask?"
"What?"
"Do you like Diga?"
"..." I was quiet.
"Do not forget your promise to me Os! You said ... "
"Ok, enough... stop Jiz, as long as you know, me and Diga different. I'm on my principles, he is in his principle. About my promise, it's easy. But Jiz, Diga is my friend, how shall I stay away from him.. I want to be myself Jiz, making friends with anyone, including Diga. I can not avoid anybody, even though that person was an enemy to me, but I still want to be friends at all. So, the thing is, I can not keep avoiding Diga. "
"I understand .."
"Ok... I can meet Diga."
"But, Os .."
"Relax, I'm not going to give him more hope, not going to be his girlfriend. Okay, once again I'm on my principles. Diga and me are friend. "
"I also will forget him Os." she said again.
"Well, good Jiz.. "
***
After met Jizi, my heart is a little relieved. Arriving in class, I went to my desk, the front desk. Class deserted, where is the residents? Well, instead of staring, I open the math book in front of me, like usual, I'm willing to try the exercise, because I'm crazy of math. But, wait, there's a memo. It’s Diga!
“Os, I want to talk face to face after school time.
Please don’t go home first.” (DIGA)
“Diga ... Ha-ha." my heart pleased. Diga is a good kid. He is also attentive, helpful, friendly, sociable, hardworking, like to saving, good-looking and... smart. But lately he is often depressed because I stay away from him. I'm so sorry for avoiding him, so did I say the same to Jizi, I cannot keep avoiding Diga. Love signals from Diga’s antenna did I catch, but although I love Diga, Diga and I cannot be the same, as I promised to Jizi. How sad I am... Hey, Diga was coming! He is approaching! Stay cool Os...
"Os ..."
"What?"
"Are you angry?"
"No, will get old."
We laughing together, after that Diga’s face suddenly turned serious.
“Ossy, I want to say something to you. Important," Diga said bowing down his face. Either he is shy or scary?
Deg! My heart beats very fast. And become faster and faster. Aaargh impossible. Impossible. My blood flows quicker. What’s wrong with me? Why can Diga make me like that?
He continues his statement… still with tremble…
"I…. I…"
"What?"
"Ossy, could I...?"
My thought flies away. Is it true that he loves me? So far… without any words… Arrgh… my face turn red, but I don’t want Diga knows. That the truth… No!
I bowing down my face. I feel that he will say that word. Yes, he will say that word... Aaaa...
"Oss, Os, Ossy, could I borrow your money? I don’t have anything left."
Oh my God... Haha, I was lied by Diga!
We laugh together again, Diga was crazy! Ha-ha, but I secretly love Diga, a forbidden love, because me and Diga different.
THE END
Forbidden Love
Hidup yang ter'penjara'. .
wouwo. .hha
nulis lagi deh, abisnya bingung juga mau ngapain. .
mumpung libur gini ya daripada nggak ngapa-ngapain. .wkwk
liat deh foto yang aku pajang di postingan ini. .hha kurang kerjaan bgt tu tmenku, berpose diantara bambu-bambu. .biar keliatan lagi dipenjara gt, ckck. padahal hdp dia udh enak banget, gitu kok ya mau-maunya berpose dibalik jeruji bambu seakan-akan dia dipenjara. .
hhe
eh kok malah agak menyipang gni yg dibahas ?
kembali ke topik 'hidup yang ter-'penjara'. .
hm, temen-temen tau penjara kan ? (apa jal ?) hha
di kamus online (Wejan) penjara itu adalah bangunan tempat mengurung orang hukuman atau bui. .berarti yang ada dipenjara itu orang2 jahat kan ? betul ?
pernah suatu saat temenku curhat gini :
"sy, gilaa aku bosen dipenjara gini sama nyokap. pengen deh aku tu bebaas lepaas, tapi gimana caranya. ."
haha yang ini penjaranya udah beda. hm ya mungkin nggak hanya tmenku ini yang mengalami 'penjara' sperti itu. (aku juga ngalami) wkwk. .
sadar nggak sadar, penjara itu membawa suatu kebaikan buat yang dipenjara. .misal, yang dipenjara beneran di kantor polisi/ di LP, mereka hidup dengan seabrek penjahat2 lain. .tidurnya mpet-mpetan. .desak-desakan. .yaampun, makan seadanya, kerja (atau ikut pengarahan tentang kebaikan) hingga akhirnya saat masa penahanan mereka habis, mereka tidak berbuat kesalahan lagi. .
begitu juga dengan 'penjara' yang tadi temenku alami. .(yang aku alami juga) hha, di 'penjara' sama nyokkap. ngga boleh main, ngga boleh keluar, harus di rumah, kalo sekolah udah pulang hrs langsung pulang. .wew gaenak juga ya, hm tapi coba liat lagi cerita tentang penjara beneran td. .kita dipenjara karena kita belum sepenuhnya mngerti tentang kebaikan. .
kalo kita mengalami 'penjara', mungkin ini semua demi kebaikan kita. .orangtua/ siapapun yang 'memenjara' kita bukan bermaksud jahat, mereka ingin suatu saat waktu kita keluar dr 'penjara' mereka, kita sudah siap mental untuk berbuat kebaikan, bukan kesalahan. .
gitu. .
nikmatilah hidup dalam 'penjara'mu. .
hingga masanya kamu keluar, kamu akan bawa kebaikan itu. .
jadi orang baik , bukan orang jahat . ok !
hha .
cheers ! :D
Cinta tak harus memiliki. .
Hha, akhrnya menyempatkan waktu juga buat nulis. .hmmm
aku lg pusiing, bete, suntuk bgt. .
bbrp hari yang lalu smpt get a problem gt,
nyebelin deh knp jd gni. .argh
ya jadi ceritanya tu aku telah membuat ssorg kecewa. .tp yang aku lakuin krmrn tu bner2 ga sengaja dan itu brlangsung gt aja. .ngalir gt aja. .
im so sorry. .
cm mau bilang ke someone,
kalo cinta itu ngga hrs memiliki,
entah kapan, aku prnah dgr firman tu gni:
"saat km pny keinginan apapun dlm hatimu, jangan km brpikir kalo kamu harus memilikinya. km hanya perlu berdoa dan simpan pikiran tsb tanpa ingin memliki, krn rasa ingin memiliki membuatmu bukan jd dirimu"
kata2 itu jd pe er gt buat aku,
ak jg msh bingung ttg artinya.
tp inti ya bs ak simpulkan
KALAU KM CINTA, JGN MULUK2 INGIN MEMILIKI
Cinta ngga hrs memiliki. .
?
bingung jg aku hha
bye ,
smangat
